Post by Try Biển Noodles on Jan 8, 2017 1:09:50 GMT
Title: First Foray Into Recieving Critique
Introductory Message: Hello, thank you for entering this garbage heap. While I may not be new to Roleplaying, I do realize that I am not the strongest of writers. While you critique my works, I want to inform you that I do understand I have grammer issues and that I have problems with maintaining tense consistency. Please be aware that these are issues I am currently working on and am not looking for criticisim in these fields. I will make notes of what I am specifically looking for in each example.
Roleplay of Interest: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - Summer Is Forever
So for my first set of critique requests, I want to point towards the very RP I am GMing. My biggest insecurity comes in writing narration and multiple characters. Essentially, I do not have a lot of confidence in writing fiction, hence why I do not write much in terms of stories. Part of this is the reason I throw myself into GMing, as it is a great way to improve these skills. The other reason is that I truly enjoy writing scenarios and game design. Seeing players interacting in a world that I have helped create brings me a lot of joy. My main hope in telling you this is to steer you in the direction I am looking for critiques. Specifically, I want to know how I can improve my skills as a narrator as well as writing dialogue and interactions for multiple characters. I am open to all criticism in this regard and I look forward to seeing what you all have to say.
Posts of Interest: While all posts are fairgame, my number one priority is the opening post. As I make more posts, I would like to see critiques for them as well.
Roleplay of Interest: GTFO
While Penelope may be an unconventional pick for critique, I am fascinated by what you Gordan Ramsey's have to say about her. While I've RPd abnormal characters in the past, she is my first attempt at writing someone truly out of left field. While everything about her seems self-explanatory, I should make a few notes about her character so you understand where she is coming from. For starters, Penelope is a chameleon in the sense of changing her personallity and tone depending on the environment and who she is talking to. She is a manipulator with one goal in mind - fuck with player killers. In essence, she is the extreme, yet deadly, version of a troll, and she won't let anything get her way. As I write her, I try to think of ways to shock the audience in a satirical way of how popular anime have unecesarry fanservice. Penelope is a cunning and calculating character who while putting on the act of a bimbo, internally enjoys how others become weak to her body. In layman's terms, she has a god-complex and she is not afraid to admit it. The other players are her toys, and player-killers are her little bugs to chase and eventually squash. As you critique my posts of her, please leave notes of her consitency as a character. On top of that, please let me know how well I am doing narrating her and if I am doing a good job of writing her as a satire of fanservice.
Posts of Interest: All of them, did you think you were getting off easy
Introductory Message: Hello, thank you for entering this garbage heap. While I may not be new to Roleplaying, I do realize that I am not the strongest of writers. While you critique my works, I want to inform you that I do understand I have grammer issues and that I have problems with maintaining tense consistency. Please be aware that these are issues I am currently working on and am not looking for criticisim in these fields. I will make notes of what I am specifically looking for in each example.
Roleplay of Interest: JoJo's Bizarre Adventure - Summer Is Forever
So for my first set of critique requests, I want to point towards the very RP I am GMing. My biggest insecurity comes in writing narration and multiple characters. Essentially, I do not have a lot of confidence in writing fiction, hence why I do not write much in terms of stories. Part of this is the reason I throw myself into GMing, as it is a great way to improve these skills. The other reason is that I truly enjoy writing scenarios and game design. Seeing players interacting in a world that I have helped create brings me a lot of joy. My main hope in telling you this is to steer you in the direction I am looking for critiques. Specifically, I want to know how I can improve my skills as a narrator as well as writing dialogue and interactions for multiple characters. I am open to all criticism in this regard and I look forward to seeing what you all have to say.
Posts of Interest: While all posts are fairgame, my number one priority is the opening post. As I make more posts, I would like to see critiques for them as well.
Roleplay of Interest: GTFO
While Penelope may be an unconventional pick for critique, I am fascinated by what you Gordan Ramsey's have to say about her. While I've RPd abnormal characters in the past, she is my first attempt at writing someone truly out of left field. While everything about her seems self-explanatory, I should make a few notes about her character so you understand where she is coming from. For starters, Penelope is a chameleon in the sense of changing her personallity and tone depending on the environment and who she is talking to. She is a manipulator with one goal in mind - fuck with player killers. In essence, she is the extreme, yet deadly, version of a troll, and she won't let anything get her way. As I write her, I try to think of ways to shock the audience in a satirical way of how popular anime have unecesarry fanservice. Penelope is a cunning and calculating character who while putting on the act of a bimbo, internally enjoys how others become weak to her body. In layman's terms, she has a god-complex and she is not afraid to admit it. The other players are her toys, and player-killers are her little bugs to chase and eventually squash. As you critique my posts of her, please leave notes of her consitency as a character. On top of that, please let me know how well I am doing narrating her and if I am doing a good job of writing her as a satire of fanservice.
Posts of Interest: All of them, did you think you were getting off easy